Some days it feels like a win.
Coffee is set to make in the morning, lunches are made with a sweet note inside. The floor is swept and candles are lit. Dinner is on the table just in time for stomachs to growl, and the dinnertime prayer is full of thankfulness and gratitude.
Other days, it just feels like a mess.
The pantry is empty because we’re plain busy and clothes haven’t been washed in days. There’s dust on the picture frames and we’re almost out of toothpaste (again). Work is stressful and I haven’t painted my toenails in months.
Yes – ups and downs. But always together.
What a gift we have in this covenant, what a beautiful thing we share. It’s hard and it’s easy. It’s fun and it’s the most vulnerable I’ve ever been. But to have someone see you so close up, with more flaws and quirks than they ever thought a person could have, and for them to say they love you even more than before? That’s a gift.
What a picture of Jesus. What a slice of heaven on earth.
It smells like my husband’s toots and yummy meals on the stove.
It tastes like morning breath and coffee handed to me in the morning when I wake up.
It feels like the hell-like temperature of the thermostat and the best hugs I’ve ever known.
It sounds like his toothbrush tapping loudly on the bathroom sink and the whispers of “you’re so beautiful” over and over.
It looks like a never-ending to-do list and the longest and best date I’ve ever been on.
It’s an odd thing to describe, but the best way I’ve found is to say it’s the most beautiful mess I’ve ever been apart of.
I’ve been in this covenant for a very short time, but I feel like I’ve learned a lot. I’ve listed some of my naive thoughts below:
- Trying to eat healthy is so much harder when you’re feeding another person.
- Waking up next to the person you love most is the most comforting and safe feeling.
- Pick your battles, friend.
- Most of the time when I’m aggravated, it’s because I’m really just selfish. I’ve learned to pray before I respond.
- Validation is a big thing for my husband. He likes to be told he’s good at taking care of me and loves me well.
- Cooking together is so very fun – especially when Justin Timberlake is jamming with you over the speaker.
- It’s okay to take time to adjust.
- Taking time to talk about your days is important before putting up the dishes and washing clothes.
- Hearing his deep voice whisper prayers over me is life-giving.
- Take some time to notice the others’ efforts and to shower them with thanksgiving.
- Ever heard that “marriage is sanctifying” phrase? Yeah, no joke.
- When something he does bothers me, take a moment to remember what he does that I love and am thankful for.
- Even if you don’t like him that day, choose to love him. Choose to recall and remember those vows.
- Nightly foot rubs are a love language.
- Going to bed at 8 PM can be a couple hobby.
- Sometimes finding activities to do that you both enjoy can be like trying to fit a square block into a triangle shaped hole…but it’s even sweeter – and somewhat humbling – when you see your husband intentionally make time to sit on the couch and watch a movie with you – even though he can’t stand sitting still.
- Knowing that you have a life partner that loves you more than you deserve is such a sweet feeling.
My husband isn’t a writer, but I asked him to share some things he’s learned, too. Here’s what he said:
- Women are very strange characters.
- I am no longer the sheriff in town.
- I actually enjoy having someone in the bed with me.
- Coffee time with my wife is one of my favorite things.
- People make marriage seem like a chore – and it’s totally not. It’s fun.
- Even when my baby’s salty, she’s still the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
- I love Taylor a lot more than I ever thought I could.
I’d love to hear what you’ve learned in marriage, or any advice you have for us! Feel free to share some wisdom in the comment box below. 🙂