I don’t have to sink.

I stood there as firm as I could in the sand, feeling the waves crash over my feet one by one. At first, the water took away my foundation and then, a few waves in, I began to sink.

I like to play this game when the beach is within reach. I stand there for a while and see just how long I can make it without sinking.

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This time it brought me to a moment with God.

This year has been my hardest so far I do believe. Has it been wonderful? Absolutely, yes. But mentally and emotionally, it’s been rough. The waves of my mental disorder have threatened to leave me without assurance, without peace, without foundation.

Somewhere along my struggle, I began to sink. I wasn’t in community with my people, I shut truth out because I didn’t see evidence of it, and I stopped chasing after God. I asked the popular question “why?” and became more and more frustrated at His silence. I still don’t have answers and I don’t know that I ever will.

All I know is that I can’t conquer the waves. As long as I’m standing in the sand – the only foundation I can build myself – and tackle the currents alone, I will sink.

God is the only foundation on which I can stand tall and free.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” – Matthew 7:24-27

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