There’s nothing I dislike more than having my heart in two places.
Have you ever felt that? On the one hand, I want to be with my people at school. I love this community of girls that have walked through life with me in my college years and have been my home away from home. But on the other hand, I want to be in the house that contains my own bed, my best friends that I call sisters, my parents, and everything that I know to be home.
Either place I wish to be, I’m losing. If I’m at school, I’m missing my family and friends and heck, even my dogs. And I’m losing time with them. I’m missing gymnastics meets and laughs in the kitchen and singing in the car. If I’m at home, I’m missing movie nights and campus events and all the lasts that I might not ever have the opportunity for again.
You can see I’m in a bit of a pickle, smack dab in the middle of this emotional mess of senior year, and all I can tell you that I’ve gotten from this so far is that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
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It’s funny to me that I waited until the last year to really get upset about this whole two-homes situation. You’d think by now I’d be A-OK and it’d be a breeze to watch my little sister’s hand wave goodbye out my back window, or to cancel my weekly lunch with a friend so I can ride home a little early. But no, quite the contrary.
I think that’s God reminding me yet again of how much I need Him, and how I’ll never be in a place where I can do it alone. Even when it’s good things that I’m struggling to balance, I still need Him to be my help and my patience and my strength to carry on. It’s Him reminding me that all things are temporary – the moving and the goodbyes and the trade-offs.
It’s Him reminding me that this place is not my true home.
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Some of you may not know me well, and therefore may not know the old soul that I am. Part of this is shown in the way that I love the sound of old gospel music. Today I was catching up on the message series at my church, and came upon one I missed on Heaven. My pastor spoke a message of encouragement, and ended by bringing up a song that has always soothed my soul.
When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see Jesus, we’ll sing and shout the victory. Onward to the prize before us! Soon His beauty we’ll behold. Soon the pearly gates will open; we shall tread the streets of gold!
What a beautiful reminder it is that the struggles of this life are nothing compared to the glory and gift that is our Jesus. When we have this eternal hope, we have joy like nothing else could possibly offer.
Let this song soothe your soul today, friends. It is well with our souls because no matter the current nature of the journey, Heaven is our destination.