Boulder vs. Bolder

I see it in the way the words are spoken and how the humor is found in the dark places. The only life is his eyes is the life he’s living dead.

It pains me as I watch the motions and the worsening of them. I don’t have it all together, no, and I can barely keep myself together in the presence of my friend whom I love.

It’s hard, this situation that stings. Years of prayers lifted up and hard conversations had, yet nothing I do seems to change a thing.

I watch my words so carefully to keep inside the blanket of love that I find them to be scarce. I’ve become almost silent. I’m still and quiet, like a boulder. I feel the angst and the fear and the passion inside me to speak up, but I can barely move. Yet words of judgement I never said are put in my mouth for me – the ones I’m extra careful not to say and words I definitely don’t believe. My morals are attacked and my heart exhausted and all I can do is keep on hoping.

Do you have someone in your life like that? Someone that you want to love and deeply know Jesus?

Lately I’ve been struggling with this and trying to figure out what it means to be bold for the gospel with love.

Paul wrote about this too.

“Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,ย for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”

-Ephesians 6:19-20

I read that verse and the Gospels where Jesus spoke so much truth covered in love, and I wonder at how to do that. I think somewhere along the road I’ve confused the difference between being loving and being careful.

As Christians we’re called to be bold. Bold for Him and bold for people that need Him. We’re called to be fearless and unashamed of who we are and Who’s we are, no matter if that means disagreeing or being put down for it. We turn the other cheek and keeping hoping and keep believing. It’s not easy and hurts the pride that tries to hold on, but it’s humbling and it’s how He loves you and me.

When harsh words come, I remember that I once opposed Him. There was a time when I wasn’t a believer and I, too, did not choose Him. It’s true for all of us: we were all once lost. And so I remind myself of the gift it is to have the opportunity to tell someone just that – the story of being lost and then found. What a gift it is to share through my words and my actions and my continued pursuance of prayer the power and tremendous love of God.

Paul says it this way:

“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”

-Titus 3:3-5

Let’s be bold for Him and continue to pursue what it looks like to be unashamed and to speak truth in love.

Maybe you have some insight on this that I don’t, or some thoughts or verses that will help me in this. Feel free to share in the comment section below!

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